The Tom Brady Roast 10 Cleanest Jokes

Most of Sunday nights, three hour Tom Brady roast jokes were way too inappropiate to share here. Unlike Netflix, this is a family channel. So once you see the headline The Tom Brady Roast 10 Cleanest Jokes, you're probably yawning. But actually some of the best jokes were rated G, or PG, simply because the truth, can be funny, once exposed. Who thought that Bill Belichick could be funny? The Tom Brady Mystique For better or for worse, here in America we love winning. Sad but true. We stupidly putting winning above everything else, until we get old. By that time, seeing what's important, may come too late. But hopefully not. Tom Brady is the symbol of American winning. "Hey, who cares if he put winning before his family? We need to win!" Tom was, is and probobly will be the greatest NFL player of all time. His enormous talent gave New England our self esteem for 20 glorious seasons. So with that said, he gets a pass for his personal flaws, until now. The Netflix Tom Brady Roast The was promoted as (is this GROAT?) the greatest roast of all time. They didn't lie. For three ridiculous hours last Sunday night, some of the biggest names in comedy and sports, gathered to put the GOAT on a nationally broadcast rotisserie, and turned up the heat. This time, Brady didn't have a defensive line protecting him. It was crude, inappropiate and over the line. But sadly, all of it could have been true, which made it oddly, funny when we wern't cringing. Nothing was left off the table. Whether it was Tom's first marriage, second marriage, Deflate gate, alledged cheating, Kraft, Belichick, or his salary, it was all brought out, tenderized and skewered ready to be consumsed for a national audience. The Tom Brady Roast 10 Cleanest Jokes Because we're a family show, I feel it's my duty to scour the interweb to provide insults that are friendly for the entire family. You can name me Triumph, The Insult Comic Puppy. (Conan fans will get this.) So here we go with the Tom Brady Roast 10 Cleanest Jokes. (from Variety and The Ringer.com.) "Tom Brady. Five-time Super Bowl MVP, most career wins, most career touchdowns. You have seven rings — well, eight, now that Gisele gave hers back. The only thing dumber than saying yes to this roast was when you said, ‘Hey babe, you should try jiu-jitsu.’” — Nikki Glaser" "You retired, then you came back, and then you retired again. I mean, I get it, it’s hard to walk away from something that’s not your pregnant girlfriend.”-Nikki Glaser" “We’re here to roast the greatest quarterback of all time,” Hart quipped. “Oh, wait, Joe Montana’s here?”-Kevin Hart" “Tom also lost $30 million in crypto… Tom, how did you fall for that? Even Gronk was like, ‘Me know that’s not real money.” — Nikki Glaser" “I really wanted Kevin [Hart] to host because he already looks like a deflated football.” — Jeff Ross" Referring to Tom: “Or, as I like to call him, Leonardo DiCaprio‘s ex-girlfriend’s ex-husband.” — Julian Edelman" "Everbody asks me which ring is my favorite. I used to say "the next one." But now that I'm retired, my favorite ring is the camera that caught Coach Belichick slinking out of that poor girl's house as 6am." -Tom Brady" "It was hard to but heads with Tom becausehe was so far up Alex Guerreros's a____s." Bill Belichick" "Let me tell you, when you have the chance to go 8-9, and all it will cost you is your wife and kids, you got to do what you got to do." Kevin Hart" "Who's laughing now Tom? Not you because your face can't move and you don't have a sense of humor." -Julian Edelman"