Bob & LBF in the Morning

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Steamship Steamrolls Contest and Sinks All the Fun!

Well, if you’re no fun, don’t hold a fun contest and then take away all the fun.

The Steamship Authority steamrolled a seemingly light-hearted ferry-naming contest and people are PISSED.

The Snoring, Boring Authority settled on several submissions for the boats, but jettisoned anything to do with the blockbuster “Jaws“, the film that put Martha’s Vineyard on the map.


And the submissions were good!

Like “Bigger Boat.” And “Jaws”. “Chief Brody.” “Sam Quint”. Even “Amity” didn’t make the cut. The horror!

Even non-Jaws references got thrown back.

“Boatalicious” and “New Kid on the Dock” are my favorites.

I get why “Whitey Boatger” was tossed overboard.

And no one suggested “The Man From Nantucket”? AMATEURS!

The Steamship Authority requested ferry names that embody the “local flavor and/or maritime history” of Cape Cod and the Islands by Sept. 25, with a chance for someone to win one of two $250 SSA gift cards. That prize will cover a round trip ticket to the islands for your car, but plenty of tickets if you are walking or taking a bike.

The new boats  will replace the M/V Gay Head and M/V Katama.

The Authority said it has received some 8,200 entries with over 9,200 name suggestions.

Any “Jaws” related entries were tossed – maybe it’s a shark thing? – along with the evergreen entries “Boaty McBoatface” , “Ferry McFerryface” and “Steamy McSteamface”

What a bunch of fun sponges!

The top nine submissions:

  • Noepe (295 votes) This is the Wampanoag name for Martha’s Vineyard, in case you were wondering.
  • Wampanoag (162 votes)
  • Aquinnah (143 votes)
  • Moshup (102 votes)
  • Menemsha (80 votes)
  • Madaket (39 votes)
  • New Bedford (18 votes)
  • Siasconset (15 votes)
  • Hyannis (13 votes)

Sadly, “East Chop” (95 votes) and “West Chop” (90 votes) didn’t make the cut because potential “radar markings” confusion.

OK. We get that.

The Authority Board will vote on the names Tuesday, Sept. 27.

The first of the new boats will sail the seas sometime next summer. Which is good, because some of the old ones have had some issues.