If You Like Pina Coladas, Here Are The 7 Best Pina Coladas in Massachusetts!

It’s National Pina Colada Day! And if you’re like Rupert Holmes and LIKE Pina Coladas AND getting caught in the rain, then Massachusetts is the place for you!

But before we get to those tropical concoctions, an aside:

Is “The Pina Colada Song” the worst song in the world?

Let’s jump right into romantic dysfunction, shall we?

How delightful. A song about terrible people who cheat on each other!

One minute you’re singing along with a catchy melody and intriguing lyrics.

The next thing you know, you’re entrenched in a dysfunctional disaster.

Our story begins with a bored man seeking a change in his monotonous life. Instead of addressing the underlying issues, what does he do? He decides to cheat his lady!

Because, hey, why communicate and work on your relationship when you can engage in deceit and betrayal, right?

But wait, it gets better!

As if that weren’t enough, the man stumbles upon a personal ad in the newspaper placed by none other than his wife/partner/girlfriend. Turns out, she’s looking for a little, well, you know.

Ah, the irony! Instead of confronting each other honestly, they resort to the most passive-aggressive method possible—advertising their infidelity to the world.

And the cherry on top?

The song ends with the two “lovebirds” realizing they were meant to be all along. How heartwarming! God, these people deserve each other.

Nothing says “true love” quite like discovering your partner’s secret desire to cheat on you.

Forget trust and respect; let’s celebrate the joy of deception and lack of communication.

So, there you have it. Rupert Holmes’ “Pina Colada” is a delightful ode to the worst aspects of human relationships. It glorifies infidelity, deceit, and a complete disregard for open communication.

Bravo, Mr. Holmes, for crafting a timeless anthem for terrible people everywhere.

OK, without further ado, Here Are The 7 Best Pina Coladas in Massachusetts, according to Yelp reviews:

• 1. Backbar, Somerville

  “Of course, I think what really draws people here to wait more than an hour on a weekday night is definitely the quality of the drinks! There are a fair share of unexpected liquor pairings within their cocktails. I like how unique their cocktails are and felt that the two I had were very well balanced. They have plenty of options not on the menu either and are happy to mix a drink based on what you’re feeling that night.” wrote one Yelper.

• 2. Tiki Rock, Boston

  “The food and drinks were delicious. We ordered two pupu platters and they were perfect for sharing. I got the ribs and they were fall-of-the-bone and so good. The rum barrel was everything I had hoped it would be (and needed as I ushered in my 30th). Had the chocolate lava cake for dessert, and, in addition to being delicious, they also used the goofy “3-0″ candles we bought in and went right along with it,” Mike C. said.

  Photo Gallery | Tiki Rock

  Tiki Rock is located in the heart of historic downtown Boston. We are a 2-minute walk from Faneuil Hall & a 5-minute walk to Boston Harbor. We are open 7 days a week for lunch & dinner. We offer a full raw bar & daily appetizer specials.

• 3. Hojoko, Boston

  “We stayed at The Verb Hotel and loved the food and the drinks! Some dishes packed some heat and had lots of flavor. We will definitely come back again,” said one Yelper. 

  Press | Hojoko

  Hojoko is a rock and roll Japanese tavern in the heart of Boston.

• 4. Beach House Grill at Chatham Bars Inn, Chatham

  Indulge in the sheer bliss of the Chatham Bars Inn’s Pina Colada—a tropical delight that transports your taste buds to paradise. With a perfect blend of creamy coconut, refreshing pineapple, and a hint of rum, this concoction is a vacation in a glass.

• 5. The Painted Burro, Somerville and Waltham

  According to Eater.com, this is the place for a twist on the colada:

  Beloved Davis Square haunt the Painted Burro has had its frozen burro colada on the menu every summer since it opened seven years ago. Owner Joe Cassinelli’s recipe for a classic pina colada uses Pango Rhum, Coco Lopez, and pineapple puree.”

• Ocean House, Dennisport

  According to the Captain’s Manor Inn, The Ocean House os the place to go for frozen cocktails. Mudslides, Daquaris, Pina Coladas – you name it, they’ve got it. They’ll even do one of my best friend’s favorites a Miami Vice which is 50% Pina Colada, 50% Strawberry Daquari and 100% delish! They frequently offer live music right on the lawn, which always makes your sipping experience that much more enjoyable!

• 7. Cosmica, Boston

  “This is one of the better Mexican restaurants that I’ve been to in Boston in terms of quality. Don’t be discouraged if the reservations are full online.” one Yelper wrote. “I got the Acapulco Dream which is essentially a Pina Colada and I loved it.” 

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