If You Like Pina Coladas, Here Are The 7 Best Pina Coladas in Massachusetts!
It’s National Pina Colada Day! And if you’re like Rupert Holmes and LIKE Pina Coladas AND getting caught in the rain, then Massachusetts is the place for you!
But before we get to those tropical concoctions, an aside:
Is “The Pina Colada Song” the worst song in the world?
Let’s jump right into romantic dysfunction, shall we?
How delightful. A song about terrible people who cheat on each other!
One minute you’re singing along with a catchy melody and intriguing lyrics.
The next thing you know, you’re entrenched in a dysfunctional disaster.
Our story begins with a bored man seeking a change in his monotonous life. Instead of addressing the underlying issues, what does he do? He decides to cheat his lady!
Because, hey, why communicate and work on your relationship when you can engage in deceit and betrayal, right?
But wait, it gets better!
As if that weren’t enough, the man stumbles upon a personal ad in the newspaper placed by none other than his wife/partner/girlfriend. Turns out, she’s looking for a little, well, you know.
Ah, the irony! Instead of confronting each other honestly, they resort to the most passive-aggressive method possible—advertising their infidelity to the world.
And the cherry on top?
The song ends with the two “lovebirds” realizing they were meant to be all along. How heartwarming! God, these people deserve each other.
Nothing says “true love” quite like discovering your partner’s secret desire to cheat on you.
Forget trust and respect; let’s celebrate the joy of deception and lack of communication.
So, there you have it. Rupert Holmes’ “Pina Colada” is a delightful ode to the worst aspects of human relationships. It glorifies infidelity, deceit, and a complete disregard for open communication.
Bravo, Mr. Holmes, for crafting a timeless anthem for terrible people everywhere.
OK, without further ado, Here Are The 7 Best Pina Coladas in Massachusetts, according to Yelp reviews: