Five Hacks to Avoid Looking Like a Holiday Goblin
December is here, which means one thing: my mother is about to unleash her Superpower of Unwanted Candid Photos. The woman LOVES snapping photos. Not nice, “smile and hold still”…
Close up photo of woman in hat on blue background taking a photo with digital camera
December is here, which means one thing: my mother is about to unleash her Superpower of Unwanted Candid Photos.
The woman LOVES snapping photos.
Not nice, “smile and hold still” photos. No. She specializes in the ambush shot. Thanks to her, I have 30 years of holiday pictures where I look like a double-chinned Jabba the Hutt with food in my teeth, clutching my emotion support glass of wine.
So yeah—I’ve earned my stripes. And now I’m sharing these photo tips from the HuffPost so you don’t end up immortalized as a cautionary tale.
1. Angle Your Body Like You’re Hiding from the Paparazzi
Standing straight-on in a photo is basically volunteering to look like a DMV headshot with legs. Turn slightly. Shift a hip. Pretend you’re mysteriously surveying the room for Beyoncé. Anything but the “I’m being arrested” pose.
2. Drop Your Shoulders. For the Love of All Things Jolly, DROP THEM.
Every time someone says “Smile!” our bodies react like we just heard a bear growl. Shoulders shoot up. Face tightens. Suddenly you look like you’re holding in a sneeze and a secret. Breathe. Relax. Attempt to look like a human, not a holiday robot.
3. Find Good Lighting. Yes, It Matters More Than Therapy.
You could have the posing skills of a Kardashian, but if you’re standing under the one overhead light that creates chin shadows, you’re doomed. Step near a window. Pivot toward a lamp. Avoid anything labeled “fluorescent,” unless you enjoy the morgue-chic aesthetic.
4. Lean In Like You Actually Like These People
You know what makes a photo instantly better? Connection. Throw an arm around someone. Hold a kid’s hand. Lean in, gently—don't be weird. The closer you are, the less room the camera has to capture your bad angles. Simple math.
5. Be Silly. Yes, You.
A little goofiness loosens everyone up. Make a face. Crack a joke. Say “Who farted?” Works every time. Natural laughter beats forced smiles—even the awkward ones.
Follow these five simple hacks, and maybe this year’s holiday photos won’t have you looking like Jabba’s festive cousin. And if they do? Don’t worry. My mother probably caught it from three angles anyway.
