$52 a Month?! Kids Are Outraged

The kids are not alright.
Mostly because they’re broke.

A new study says the average kid is now making $52 a month in allowance. That’s thirteen bucks a week. Which, in 2025, buys… what? Two iced chai lattes and a pack of gum? Maybe one MATINEE movie ticket?

Parents everywhere swear this is “teaching kids financial responsibility.” Sure. And I’m teaching myself discipline by not ordering DoorDash every night. We can all tell lies.

Where’s the Chore Workers Local 101? Where’s the strike line? I want to see handmade signs: “NO JUSTICE, NO DISHWASHING.”

Because these children are doing labor. Real labor.
Dishwashers. Trash removal. Picking up rooms that somehow explode daily despite the laws of physics. And don’t forget emotional labor — dealing with mean girls, bad hair days, and math homework. Oh, and waking up at 6 a.m. Middle school is not for the faint of heart.

Honestly, these kids deserve more than $52. They deserve a quarterly spa week and a mediation coach.

Parents in their 40s love to remind us that they only made $5 a month back in 1992. Yes and gas was 90 cents and you could buy a mansion with two couch cushions and a dream. Times change.

Still, older generations have one fair point: kids used to do way more chores. Today, some kids are getting paid to “clean their room,” which often means kicking things under the bed and spraying Febreze.

Yet, parents think it’s working. 78% say their kids are responsible with money. 61% say their kids handle money better than they did.

Which explains why 17% of parents are now Venmo-ing their children. Another 14% hand out kid debit cards. And 6% pay in screen time, which feels like the future and a dystopia all at once.

So yes, the average child is earning $52 a month. Is it enough?

Kids of America, grab your clipboards.
It’s time to organize!