The Great Temperature Standoff

Every winter, my husband Dave and I play a little game I like to call Temperature Roulette. It’s like regular roulette, except instead of chips and glamour, it’s two middle-aged people sneaking around the house adjusting the thermostat like we’re in Ocean’s Eleven.

I turn it down.
He turns it up.
I turn it down again.
He sighs loudly, mumbles something about “circulation,” and turns it up again.

I’ve written about this before, but honestly, it bears repeating. Because every winter the same thing happens: the temperature drops outside, and the passive-aggressive thermostat dance begins inside.

And listen, I’m not alone. I just saw a post—on X, or some other deplorable digital swamp—about a woman whose husband straight-up changed the password on their Nest. Locked her out. She’s in her own home wrapped like a burrito, shivering, while he guards the thermostat like it’s Fort Knox.

I’m all for saving energy. I recycle, bring my own bags and even have reusable produce bags.
But if your spouse is locking you out of your own heating system?
Pack a bag, honey.
He’s a psycho.

Now, while Dave and I battle over one degree, the U.S. Department of Energy has the audacity to chime in with “guidelines.” According to them, the magic number in winter is 68 degrees when you’re awake. And when you’re asleep or out of the house, they say you should drop it even lower.

Lower.
As in: colder.

Lowering the temperature slows down how quickly your home loses heat. Which conserves energy. Which saves money. And considering utility bills are up more than 41% since 2020, okay fine, I get it. My wallet gets it. My toes do not get it.

So yes, 68 degrees. Sure. Science says it’s the sweet spot. The Department of Energy says it’s the sweet spot. Everyone says it’s the sweet spot.

But in my house?
The sweet spot is whatever temperature the thermostat happens to land on when I walk into the room and catch Dave trying to change it again.

Temperature Roulette.
Place your bets.