Utility Bills Are Surging And Every Light Is Still On.

Guess what, Massachusetts? We didn’t win — but we also definitely didn’t lose. We snagged the bronze medal in the “Congratulations, Your Bills Are Ruining Your Life” Olympics.

Lucky us.

Maryland took the crown with a $546 monthly median bill, which honestly sounds like a number you’d make up to get out of plans. Connecticut snagged second place at $488. And there we are… Massachusetts… a humble, modest, nothing-to-brag-about $481 a month.

Four. Hundred. Eighty. One. Dollars.
Every. Single. Month.

But sure. Let’s leave every light on in the house like we’re prepping for a landing strip on the Mass Pike.

And you know who’s the worst offender? Not my kid. Not visitors.

My husband.

Why am I surprised? He walks about the house in a t-shirt and complains it's cold. Energy saver is a phrase that does not compute. He walks out of a room with all the lights blazing like it’s the finale of Hamilton.

Meanwhile, the national median is around $347, which sounds like a fantasy number created by people who live in states where it doesn’t snow sideways. States like South Dakota and Arkansas get by under $300 a month. Under $300! I can't even run my dryer twice for that.

But here in the Bay State, we’re apparently paying premium prices to keep our homes warm, lit, and able to support the 47 chargers we all swear we’re “about to unplug.”

And yes — we can feel smug that we’re not #1.
But let’s be real. #3 still hurts.
#3 still makes me do that slow, disappointed head shake and follow my husband around the house turning off lights like a grumpy, energy-conscious ghost.

At this point, if someone wants real energy efficiency, they should just hire me to yell, “ARE YOU USING THIS LIGHT?!” every hour on the hour.

Massachusetts: home of history, chowder, and apparently utility bills that could qualify as a second car payment.

Fantastic.