Adultoween: Because We Can’t Let the Kids Have Anything

Adultoween? What?

Remember when Beanie Babies were for kids? Then adults showed up, talking about “investment-grade plush.”

Fast-forward to today, and we’re still out here hijacking childhood joy.

We’ve taken playground scooters (now called “micro mobility”), we hoard Stanley cups like Pokémon, and don’t even get me started on adults who wear friendship bracelets to Taylor Swift concerts. And now?

We’re coming for Halloween.

According to a new poll from Ferrero (yes, the candy people — shocker), 54% of adults think we should get our own night to celebrate Halloween without kids. Nothing screams “maturity” like arguing over whose inflatable T. rex costume is better.

Here’s the thing: Halloween is supposed to be for the kids — they do the work.

They dress up, they knock on strangers’ doors, they politely say “thank you” even when they get raisins. You? You just walked them around and made sure they didn’t fall into a hedge.

You’ve earned the right to steal a Snickers or two. You paid for the costume, the decorations, and probably a pumpkin spice latte or three.

Take the candy. You deserve it.

But do we really need our own night? Do we need “Adultoween,” with cocktail cauldrons, ironic costumes, and someone inevitably crying because they “missed the good old days”?

Can we not let the children have one sugar-soaked, glitter-covered, cartoon-character-filled moment of happiness?

We’ve already claimed kickball (you've seen the leagues), Disneyland, and the entire Barbie movie.

Let’s let the little goblins have this one. Dress up if you must, sip your witch’s brew, and enjoy the mini Kit Kat you “confiscated for safety reasons.” But maybe—just maybe—let Halloween stay a kids’ holiday.

Then again… if someone’s handing out full-size Reese’s Cups at Adultoween, forget everything I just said. I’ll see you there