How to Beat a Heatwave Without a Pool, a Cape House, or Friends With Better Real Estate

Let’s just get this out of the way: it's heatwave hot. I’m talking walk-outside-and-instantly-regret-having-skin kind of hot. According to the fine meteorologists at WCVB, we're diving headfirst into a sweltering, sticky mess of a week. Highs in the 90s. Humidity that slaps you in the face like a wet towel.

You’re not sweating, you’re marinating.

And unless you’re one of those lucky unicorns with a pool, a beach house, or at least a friend named "Chad" who owns either—you're with me. Pool-less. Cape Cod-less. Surrounded by people who won’t even let you dip a toe in their above-ground setup.

So how do I beat the heat? The same way God intended: by cranking the A/C so hard it makes National Grid blink twice, blacking out half the neighborhood, and settling in for a long, luxurious binge session that feels almost—but not quite—like a vacation.

Let’s talk options.
First up: Billy Joel: And So It Goes on HBO. Piano Man, angry ex-wives, old concert footage, and zero cardio. A perfect sit-on-your-couch-with-a-bag-of-ice show. Also, FIVE HOURS.
Next: The Hunting Wives on Netflix. Trashy, sexy, borderline porn. Definitely not safe for work, or for watching with your mom. But it’s too hot to make good decisions anyway.
Then there’s Untamed, also on Netflix, which features majestic scenery and people doing things like hiking and bonding with wild animals. You almost want to go outside. You won’t, but you’ll think about it.
And of course, when all else fails—The Great British Baking Show. It’s soothing, charming, and weirdly cooling to watch people sweat over pastry instead of just... sweating.

So that’s the plan. Forget nature. Forget tan lines. Forget Chad and his pool.

Close the blinds, turn on the A/C (and Venmo your power company $400), and let the sweet embrace of binge-watching carry you through this humid nightmare.

You may not be cool—but you’ll feel cool.