Gen Z—35 Is Not Old – It’s Awesome

Well, well, well. It's this interesting. 22% of Gen Z thinks you’re old at 35.

I'm sorry—what?

I’m not saying how old I am. But according to this math, I am fossil-adjacent. Do I need a cane now? Should I start yelling at clouds and clipping coupons? Should I stop using TikTok ironically? (Too late.)

I mean…35? That’s the age when you just start figuring out which wine doesn’t give you a headache. That’s peak knowing better while still caring enough to moisturize.

But no, Gen Z says that’s "over the hill."

Six percent even say 30 is old. Three percent think 27 is elderly. Twenty-seven! At 27, I was still eating cereal for dinner and thinking combat boots and mini skirts were office appropriate.

Listen, I get it. When I was 22, anyone with a mortgage seemed ancient. But I didn’t go around telling people they were basically ready for a retirement home and orthopedic shoes. I had respect. (OK, not a lot, but more than this.)

Also—Gen Z is out here worrying about declining health and not achieving enough. Sweetie, you’re 24. You haven’t even hit the age where you realize the real villain is back pain.

And yes, some of them think people stop having sex at 40. Ha! Adorable. You know what gets better with age? Confidence. And naps. And sex. (Once you’re done with that nap.)

To be fair, they do think their best years are ahead of them. Great! So do we! Because unlike you, we don’t think our lives peak at 26 and then just quietly crumble into a pile of expired energy drinks.

Here’s a tip from your “elder”: Age doesn’t make you irrelevant. But calling 35 old? That will get you blocked.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to listen to some Madonna and schedule a colonoscopy. Because I may be “old,” but I’m also insured.