ADULT TUMMY TIME: We’re Babies Now

Adult tummy time?

Look, I’ve done a lot of weird things in the name of health. Hot yoga in a 110-degree room? Sure. Celery juice at dawn? Why not. But this one?

Adult. Tummy. Time.

Yes, the latest trend making the rounds on TikTok is exactly what it sounds like: grown adults lying on their bellies like oversized infants.

Why? Because tech neck is real. We’ve spent so much time hunched over our phones, laptops, and existential dread, that now we’re supposed to lie flat on our stomachs for ten minutes a day to undo the damage.

Apparently, it helps realign your spine, opens up your chest, and makes your neck muscles stronger. So basically, it’s Pilates for lazy people who don’t want to get off the floor.

Some influencers say you can scroll, read, or watch TV while doing it. Great. So, I can doomscroll from the floor now instead of the couch. Progress!

But here’s the thing: have we forgotten how terrible tummy time was for babies? I have never seen a baby enjoying tummy time. They scream. They drool. They look betrayed.

So if adults hate tummy time as much as infants do, this trend is going to last about as long as a diaper after a blowout.

Plus, what if someone walks in and catches you mid-tummy? There’s no graceful way to explain that. “Oh, this? I’m just reversing decades of bad posture with my face smushed into the rug.” Cool. Totally normal.

Honestly, if you're looking for a new trend to try, might I suggest “adult nap time”? It’s similar, but horizontal, under a weighted blanket, and with zero judgment.

In the meantime, I’ll be over here doing adult tummy time...on a very plush pillow...with snacks. Because if I’m going down, I’m going down in comfort.