The Perfect Vacation Is How Long And How Much?

A new report says the perfect vacation lasts 11 days, costs $8,800 per person, and is just three hours from home.

So basically… I’ve been doing this all wrong.

I've been away for, like, 10 weekends in a row. Ten! That’s basically two and a half months of small suitcases, gas station snacks, and forgetting at least one toiletry every time. You’d think I’d be refreshed and glowing.

Nope. I’m exhausted. More tired than when I started.

Am I vacationing wrong? Is there a YouTube tutorial for this?

Well, I don't know.

Because if the answer is to spend $8,800 per person on a trip to somewhere three hours away… I’m tapping out. That’s $800 a day! What is it—spa treatments by Beyoncé? Breakfast served on Leonardo DiCaprio?

Listen. I don’t need luxury. I need a lawn chair, a cold Natty Light, and a beach that doesn't smell like raw sewage. That’s it. That’s the dream.

The report also says the ideal vacation includes a beach (yes), the great outdoors (sure), a major city or historical site (okay), and some landmarks (bonus points if they’re giant and weird).

So basically, they’re describing a mythical land where Yellowstone meets Miami and there’s a colonial fort next to a Shake Shack.

And again—it has to be three hours from home. If you live in, say, Buffalo, that puts you squarely in Cleveland territory. It's not called The Mistake On The Lake for nothing.

But maybe they’re onto something. Maybe we don’t need to go far or spend a fortune. Maybe we just need to chill. Turn off the email. Forget the itinerary. Sit in the sun and just exist.

And maybe—just maybe—skip that eleventh weekend away. Because the perfect vacation might just be… staying home.