Salsa, Sangrias and STDs: Happy National Waitstaff Day
Happy National Waitstaff Day! Let’s raise a glass (that your server probably didn’t sip from) to the folks who keep our coffee hot, our fries crispy, and our emotional support…
Close up attractive waitress wearing black apron standing in cozy coffeehouse, female cafe worker with notebook in hands waiting for, ready to take customers, guests order in restaurant
Happy National Waitstaff Day!
Let’s raise a glass (that your server probably didn’t sip from) to the folks who keep our coffee hot, our fries crispy, and our emotional support cocktails coming.
Also—according to a BuzzFeed poll—32% of them have eaten off your plate.
Like, literally your plate. Fork to mouth.
Honestly? If you left that last fry, you deserved it.
Let’s break down the scandalous stats.
- 25% of servers have hooked up with a cook.
So yeah, next time your lasagna takes a little too long, they might be making more than pasta back there. - 50% have “retaliated” against a rude customer.
No details, just vague threats. Like a horoscoped Scorpio with a corkscrew. - 81% came in sick or hungover.
Because restaurant schedules wait for no immune system. - 88% hid in the bathroom to escape reality.
I feel like that should be 100%. What are the other 12% doing? Meditation?
Now listen. I once worked at El Torito.
Yep. The chain. The fajitas. The tequila.
And I never ate a single thing off a plate. Never drank from someone else's cup, never snuck a margarita, never stole a single chip. (OK, those last two might be lies.)
But I was asked out by multiple patrons.
And once?
One of the waitstaff—who was already dating a cook—threw a bottle of penicillin at his head during the Friday dinner rush.
Because, you guessed it: he gave her an STD.
Happy Hour wasn't so happy that night.
Bottom line? Tip your waitstaff. Say thank you. Don’t be weird about the aioli.
And if you see someone duck behind the bar with a bottle of antibiotics?
Mind your business.
