Starbucks’ $45 Splurge Is A Caffeinated Crazy Coffee

So you thought your $6 latte was a splurge? Buckle up, bean lovers—Starbucks has a drink that costs forty-five American dollars. That's right. Forty. Five. Dollars. For a beverage. And no, it doesn't come with a golden straw or a free therapist, though it probably should.

This monster of a drink starts innocently enough: a Venti Matcha Crème Frappuccino.

Cute, right? Green. Frothy. Tastes like sweet, powdered plants. But then? Chaos.

To truly unlock this financial and gastrointestinal nightmare, you add 12 shots of espresso. Twelve. That’s enough to power a small village or a group text thread at 2 a.m. But wait—there’s more! You also pile on 12 affogato-style espresso shots. That’s espresso poured over the drink. Because apparently, just drinking your caffeine isn’t enough—you need it to rain down on you.

Then come the bells and whistles. Mocha and dark caramel sauces. Caramel drizzle. Chai syrup. Frappuccino chips. Caramel crunch topping. Vanilla bean and chocolate malt powder—four scoops of each, because your pancreas hasn’t given up quite yet.

And of course, whipped cream. Which, thankfully, is still free. A single act of mercy in this chaos frappe.

Total damage? $41.55 before tax. After tax? You’re flirting with $45. And possibly death.

The person who discovered this caffeinated Frankenstein admits they didn’t even drink it. Which is fair. That’s not a beverage—it’s a dare.

A deliciously frosty, artery-clogging, anxiety-inducing dare.

So the next time you feel bad about ordering an oat milk latte with two pumps of vanilla and a sprinkle of cinnamon, just remember: at least your drink won’t require a team of baristas, a blood pressure cuff, and a waiver.

Would you drink this beast?

Or would you rather spend $45 on something safer… like a month of Netflix?

Or literally anything else?