Why Drunk Food Is the Best Food (Until You Regret It)

Let’s be real: nothing hits harder than a greasy sub or a slice of pepperoni pizza after a night out. Bonus points if you're standing in your kitchen at 2 a.m. eating chips directly from the bag like a drunk little raccoon. A trash can raccoon.

With no shame and a raging appetite.

But why does that food taste SO good when you're tipsy?

Science, baby.

A 2015 study tried to figure it out. Researchers gave one group of women alcohol and the other a totally boring saline solution. Then everyone had lunch. Guess what? The boozy bunch said their food tasted better and they ate more of it. Shocking, right?

Men were also studied (because equality). Some dudes got vodka and OJ, others just the OJ. The vodka group had way more cravings for high-fat, savory snacks. Fries, wings, burgers—if it was greasy, they wanted it.

Here’s the wildest part: the study said people actually feel rewarded when they eat fatty foods after drinking.

Rewarded. Like their brains are handing out gold stars for that 2 a.m. grilled cheese.

So yes, alcohol literally makes food taste better and cranks your appetite into overdrive. It’s like your brain goes, “You’ve been so savage tonight—you deserve that fourth slice of pizza.”

But here's the rub: you barely remember what that food tasted like. You just wake up with an empty Doritos bag, a cheese stain on your shirt, and a deep sense of regret. Also possibly five extra pounds.

So yes, that post-party meal feels like the highlight of your night. But next time you’re elbow-deep in a bag of Cheetos, just know—you're not hungry, you're just drunk and chasing dopamine.

And honestly? That’s beautiful and tragic all at once.

Now go hydrate. You'll thank me tomorrow.