The Ruler Drop Test and Other Ways to Humiliate Yourself at Home
There’s a new at-home test making the rounds. No, not another COVID test. This one checks if your brain is working. Which feels a bit aggressive, frankly. It’s called the…
Food in shape of a brain
There’s a new at-home test making the rounds. No, not another COVID test. This one checks if your brain is working. Which feels a bit aggressive, frankly.
It’s called the ruler drop test.
All you need is a ruler and a friend. Yes, you need a friend.
So already, I’m in trouble.
Here’s how it works: you sit in a chair like a civilized human, hand on a table, fingers poised like you're about to politely pinch a scone. Your friend holds a ruler vertically, zero at the bottom, just above your thumb. Then they drop it without warning. Your job is to catch it with two fingers like you're a ninja in a cardigan.
That's the rule drop test.
Wherever your fingers grab the ruler, that's your reaction time. Less than 7.5 centimeters? You’re basically a Jedi. More than 28 centimeters? Welp, enjoy soft foods and safe flooring.
Here’s the kicker: scientists say slower reaction times are linked to a higher risk of death. Heart disease, stroke, respiratory issues. In other words, if you can’t catch the ruler, death is coming, and it’s not in a hurry.
I tried this test. Sort of. My friend dropped the ruler and I blinked. Just blinked. By the time my brain said “GRAB IT,” the ruler had hit the floor, rolled under the couch, and possibly joined a new family.
Honestly, I’m not surprised. I can’t pass any of these so-called “simple” tests. Like that “sit-to-stand” test where you’re not allowed to use your arms. Excuse me? If I drop my remote on the floor, I just wave goodbye. And the pencil test? You know, the one where you check “perkiness” by seeing if a pencil stays under your boob? That test is bullcrap at any age.
So yeah. The ruler drop test is now on my long list of low-budget humiliations. Right next to “Try to do a pull-up” and “Read IKEA instructions without crying.”
But hey, if you do catch the ruler at 7 cm, congratulations! Your brain is sharper than mine and you might live forever.
Or at least long enough to lose your keys six more times today.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go Google “reaction time training” and “at-home life alert systems.”
What’s your best score on the ruler test—or have you already thrown the ruler across the room like I did?
