Confessions of a Tech Hoarder: Or, Why I Can’t Throw Away My 2005 Flip Phone

Let me start by saying this: I own a creative iPod Life Shuffle from, I kid you not, 1999. It’s basically a tiny fossil that once held my entire personality.

I also still have every cell phone I’ve owned since 2003. Not in use. Not charged. Just… present.

Like cursed artifacts in a museum no one visits.

Do I have the chargers? Of course not. What do you think I am, organized?

Oh, and there’s an iPad that I haven’t been able to unlock since someone (not naming names, but it was probably me) guessed the passcode wrong too many times. It now lives in iPad jail. Apparently I can try again sometime around the year 3428.

Cool cool cool.

Also, and this one really hurts: I have a broken desktop computer sitting on the floor of my office. It’s been there for six years. Six. It’s not plugged in. It’s not hooked up to anything. Yup. Just... keeping the floor company. Like a sad, boxy roommate.

According to a new survey, 31% of Americans are just like me. We're out here, clinging to our ancient tech because we’re not really sure what to do with it. Throw it away? That feels wrong. Sell it? Who’s buying a Sidekick in 2025? Give it to a friend? What friend is out here asking for a Blackberry?

Meanwhile, 19% of people actually do throw their old tech away. (No word on whether they do it responsibly or just yeet it into the regular trash like savages.)

Some people are out here being productive—selling their old gear (25%), trading it in (37%), donating it (17%), or passing it to family (30%). That’s adorable. I, personally, am building a small museum of Sad Gadgets and Lost Chargers. Admission is free. BYO nostalgia.

But seriously—why hasn’t anyone fixed the “too many password attempts = wait 17 centuries” glitch? I feel like we sent a car to space, but I still can’t unlock an iPad from 2014.

What is wrong with us?

More importantly: does anyone have a charger for a Motorola Razr? I think I left some notes in there.