Freeze! The Ice Cream Cops Are Here
Look, I get it. Ice cream is serious business. But calling the cops on your own mother because you thought she ate yours? That’s next-level betrayal.
Meet our pint-sized snitch from Wisconsin, a four-year-old criminal mastermind who called 911 and demanded the cops arrest his mom for “being bad”—translation: eating his ice cream.
Except, plot twist: it wasn’t even his. It was hers. And this kid had the audacity to double down, telling officers, “Come and get my mommy. Put her in jail.” Imagine his poor mother trying to explain to the police that her son was staging a full-blown coup over dessert.
He screamed for ice cream.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, the kid really went for it. When the cops showed up, he upped the ante and accused her of hitting him. A total lie! His mom laughed it off and even let him put her in cuffs for fun, but let’s be real—this kid should be on a month-long ice cream ban, not getting rewarded with sprinkles from the cops. What kind of justice system is this?! If I had pulled this stunt as a kid, I wouldn’t have seen sugar until my high school graduation.
Now, I’m not here to judge kids making questionable 911 calls, because I may have done something equally ridiculous once. Many years ago, I had a full-blown meltdown because I thought my dog was kidnapped. Naturally, I did what any rational person would do—I called 911. The police did not appreciate my deep concern over my (very much not kidnapped) dog and gave me a stern lecture about how emergency services are not for panicked pet owners. But listen, I’ve seen 101 Dalmatians. I knew how these things could go down.
And let’s talk about my mom, who actually deserved to have the authorities called on her back in the day. Picture this: eighth grade, Xaverian dance, all my friends going, and me? Grounded. Why? Because I got a C in math. A C! Not even failing, just slightly subpar! If anyone was guilty of crimes against humanity, it was her. If Siri had been around then, you bet I would’ve whispered, “Call 911” under my breath.
So, while I understand the drama, I have to draw the line somewhere. And that line? Is not buying this kid ice cream. You falsely accuse someone of a crime, you don’t get sprinkles!
