February Vacation Survival: Why We’re Staying Home
Ah, February vacation in Massachusetts. A magical time when kids are free from school and parents are tempted to venture out for “family fun.” Yeah, not me. I’m keeping my kid under lock and key like we’re starring in our own low-budget germ thriller. Why? Because it’s PEAK flu and COVID season. The numbers are out of control this year, and frankly, I’m not rolling the dice on a month of snot and suffering.
Sure, I sound paranoid. But guess who won’t be coughing through March? Me. So, for those considering leaving the house this week, here are five germ-ridden hotspots to avoid:
- Indoor Playgrounds: Think padded petri dishes. Kids licking slides, sneezing mid-climb, and that one kid who always shows up with a crusty nose. No thanks.
- Trampoline Parks: Bouncy castles of bacteria. The foam pits? Basically germ soup. Plus, you’re one awkward jump away from an ER visit. Hard pass.
- Movie Theaters: Two hours in a poorly ventilated box while strangers cough into the air like it’s their job. Not my idea of entertainment.
- Museums with Hands-On Exhibits: Love a good science experiment. Hate the mystery goo on every interactive surface.
- Bowling Alleys: Communal shoes. Shared balls. And kids who snack with unwashed hands. Enough said.
I know, I know. It’s February VACATION.
“Let them live!” you say. “It’s just a little flu!” But here’s the deal: If locking ourselves inside for a week means I don’t have to mainline NyQuil in March, it’s worth it. Plus, we have Netflix, snacks, and the internet. My kid will survive.
And let’s be real: February vacation weather in Massachusetts is garbage anyway. The sky is gray, the sidewalks are icy, and the wind hits you like a personal insult. Why not use the vacation as an excuse to stay warm, cozy, and germ-free? We can build forts, bake cookies, and laugh at the brave souls who thought a crowded trampoline park was a good idea.
So, to the brave souls heading to germ-central this vacation: Godspeed. I’ll be here, disinfecting doorknobs and basking in the sweet, sneeze-free air of my home. See you in March. Healthy, smug, and totally germ-free. (Purelled-fingers crossed.)
