Falling Overboard: My Worst Cruise Nightmare
Let’s start with a confession: my biggest cruise-related fear isn’t running out of SPF or getting stuck next to the world’s loudest karaoke fan—it’s falling overboard.
Nothing kills the vacation vibes faster than imagining myself flailing in open water while the ship sails off into the sunset.
I’ll never forget the time I thought my husband did go overboard.
He went MIA on a ship with 5,000 people.
Naturally, I panicked. After a frantic search, I asked the first mate to call for him over the ship’s speaker system. The first mate calmly explained that if my husband didn’t answer in 20 minutes, we’d have to turn the entire ship around.
Spoiler: I found him—totally oblivious—nursing a drink in a bar. I wasn’t sure whether to hug him or push him overboard myself.
But let’s get serious. Falling overboard is rare, but it happens. From rogue waves to “vacation brain” (yes, climbing railings for TikTok clout is a thing), there are plenty of ways to end up in the drink. Want to avoid becoming cruise trivia? Here’s how to stay safe—and what to do if your worst nightmare comes true.
How to Stay Onboard (and Alive) (Thanks to Fodor’s)
- Ease Up on the Booze
Love a good margarita? Same. But drunk + ship railings = disaster. If you’re going to indulge, appoint a sober buddy to keep you grounded (literally). - Mind Your Meds
Muscle relaxers and sleep aids can mess with your balance, and no one wants to sleepwalk off a cruise. Take meds with caution—or not at all—while at sea. - Resist “Vacation Brain”
Leave the Instagram stunts at home. Climbing railings or leaning over for the “perfect shot” is how you go viral… for all the wrong reasons. - Stay Aware
Rough seas, slippery decks, and unpredictable ship lurches are real. Keep your head on a swivel, especially near railings.
What If You Fall Overboard?
First: Don’t panic. Second: Really don’t panic.
Signal for Help: Scream, wave, or do whatever it takes to be noticed.
Float, Don’t Fight: Lie back to conserve energy. Bonus points if you can MacGyver a flotation device out of your clothing.
Stay Put: Drifting makes it harder for rescuers to find you, so try to stay near where you fell.
See Someone Go Overboard?
Don’t be a hero. Keep your eyes on them, point for others to follow, and call for help. The crew will deploy life rings, rescue boats, and coordinate a search.
Cruises are fun, fabulous, and (mostly) safe. Follow the rules, drink responsibly, and leave the daredevil antics to the professionals. Oh, and if you lose your husband on board, check the nearest bar before you panic. You’re welcome.
