Kindness LIVES In Connecticut: Want Proof?

It's true. Just when you're ready to give up on people, I discovered that kindness lives in Connecticut. 

I'm still delightfully stunned.

This past Saturday night, Heidi and I were at the Woodstock Fair in Connecticut to see Scott Stapp, former lead singer of Creed. We always bring two portable, foldup camping chairs, to hold a spot for the show. We placed the chairs in a spot on the grass, like we do each year and then get some fun fair food. As we came back, I sat down in the chair. It BROKE right through, plunging me to the ground! Turns out, someone had sat in it, as we were gone and broke it.

My fall through the chair, was like when you slip and fall on the ice. You hit the ground HARD. It took a moment to recoup from that shocking, embarrassing and YET kind of funny incident. I was so shocked at what happened, I didn't notice anyone around me. Since MY chair was now broken my amazing wife, Heidi sat down on the grass next to me to begin her nurse like love, bringing me out of my shock. I know I sound dramatic, but it was a physical comedy FULL COLLAPSE moment, like on a TV sitcom with John Ritter on Three's Company. I could have sworn I heard a laugh track. 

What happened NEXT changed the trajectory of the night. The next thing I know, A TOTAL stranger, who witnessed the whole thing, appears with HIS brand new portable chair and says, "Here you go man. Enjoy the show." What? What just happened? This amazingly kind stranger quietly went to his car, got HIS extra chair and brought it back for ME. I had NEVER met this wonderful guy in my life. He said "keep it."

Stunned by his heartfelt gesture, I asked him his name. He said "Bob Roy, Warwick RI." I said "wow....we got married at Conimicut Point in Warwick..!"

He screamed back: "What....? That's where we LIVE!!!!"

There were at least a THOUSAND PEOPLE on the grass. Coincidence? Bob's kindness erased the awkward moment, and helped us reset and enjoy the evening.

Thank you Bob. You have proven that kindness lives in Connecticut.

More than ever people need positive phrases to the help them everyday, and luckily an esteemed Harvard Psychologist has determined the nine positive phrases we should use everyday. Let's face it, times are tough, we have been through a lot in the past few years. We endured a global pandemic that has probably changed our world forever in more ways than we could have ever imagined. Is it true that tough times make tough people? Perhaps, but knowing how to deal with stress is the key.

Having confidence in yourself is more vital than ever. Let's face it, even with the advent of social media and the internet, we are more isolated than ever. Sure, you see your friends and family everyday online, but we see them less often now in the digital world. You are relying on yourself to "coach up" and "build up" the confidence needed to navigate this brave new world.

Forget the axiom that stress builds character, it also builds emotional scars that can last a lifetime. If you find yourself in need of some motivation, these simple nine positive phrases just might give the added lift of confidence that you're looking for.  Of course none of us will get through life without a modicum of stress, and the idea that we can all lead stress free lives is fantasy.

Dr. Cortney S. Warren, PhD, is a board-certified psychologist and author of “Letting Go of Your Ex.” She specializes in marriages, love addiction and breakups, and received her clinical training at Harvard Medical School. She has written nearly 50 peer-reviewed journal articles and delivered more than 75 presentations on the psychology of relationships. Follow her on Twitter @DrCortneyWarren.

The Dr says, "developing resilience requires getting to a place where you can see difficult life circumstances for what they are, and actively choosing to let them go." When you can let the little and sometime big things go, you are on your way to a better you!

"The key to resilience is not denying reality or seeking out a reason that makes us feel better about why something happened." Like football coaches preach, you are what your record says you are.

"We are hardwired to notice threats to our well-being but people who are resilient find a way to turn towards the positive even in times of difficulty." As your grandmother might have said, "count your blessings."

"A key component of resilience is emotional flexibility, or the ability to regulate your feelings, and reduce their intensity in a given situation." Sometimes you need to step back and take stock of things, you might have a better perspective with just a little more time.

"Openness to experiences and ability to shift your perspective. Ask, why did this happen to me too what can I take from this to help me grow? Can help you better navigate through life‘s inevitable ups and downs." Life's learning lessons continue long after you finish school.

"For resilient people believe that setbacks and challenges can feel horrible in the moment, but that nothing in life is permanent. It doesn’t mean that the pain will go away entirely, but it does mean that we can work to make them less traumatic over time."

"Resilience is associated with a basic acceptance that life isn’t always fair and that we all experience emotional hardships excepting this truth helps people to not take things personally." Nobody ever said life is easy, it can be hard a lot of the time, so when you accept that it's natural to have struggles, the more you will be able to face those hardships.

"Being resilient means that when you experience the pain of this treatment you shift your perspective from I’m a victim and powerless to help myself to. How can I grow from this?

"Emotional resilience is associated with grit and mental toughness. There is an understanding that we have to be strong and overcome adversity without letting it break us." This is a powerful affirmation that you should use whenever you're feeling up against a hard time, remind yourself that yes, I can get through this, than you give yourself a fighting chance.