‘Tis the Season For…SPRAY TANS! Yet ANOTHER Cautionary Tale. – LBF
I’m pale. I’m Irish, Scottish and English. I do not tan and I am a walking advertisement for sunscreen. And despite what Deadly Dermatologist Loren Owens says, suntanning is bad for me (and you.) And because of the advent of spray tanning, I am not allowed to just go Goth in the summer and rock a whiter shade of pale.
I need to undergo the hose.
This is actually slightly humiliating, especially for someone who would prefer to shower in a bathing suit.
ANYWAY, this is me before the spray:
So I brave it, go in, disrobe, don a hair net, and proceed to be sprayed down looking like a water buffalo in a thong about to serve lunch to a bunch of 4th graders.
Also, I kind of look like Top Chef’s Tom Colicchio here:
See what I mean?

Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images for Food & Wine)
It actually turned out OK! (It got A LOT darker later.)
At least it Didn’t go like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qhj8TDAuKg
Happy Memorial Day Weekend!